


the space between my lungs is not empty (just still and cold as ice)

by thirteeninafez



Series: Flip-Side of the Coin [3]
Category: Torchwood
Genre: (eventually I promise), Alternate Universe, Angst, Case Fic, Fake Marriage, Fake/Pretend Relationship, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Orphans, Season/Series 02
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-01-06
Updated: 2021-01-12
Packaged: 2021-03-17 07:28:39
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 6,940
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28596228
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thirteeninafez/pseuds/thirteeninafez
Summary: After a week alone to reflect on life, Ianto is called back to the Hub to help out on a new case. He didn't know it would find him at an orphanage trying to adopt a kid with his "husband" Jack, the man he'd all but broken up with a week prior.And that's before he realised the chilling secrets that St David's Orphanage was hiding.Work 3 in my Undead!Ianto AU.
Relationships: Jack Harkness/Ianto Jones
Series: Flip-Side of the Coin [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2046512
Comments: 29
Kudos: 41





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks to Nik, [princessoftheworlds](https://archiveofourown.org/users/princessoftheworlds/pseuds/princessoftheworlds) , for editing and to Vi, [violetmessages](https://archiveofourown.org/users/violetmessages/pseuds/violetmessages), for helping me out with ideas for this au, as well as Ruairidh, [someawkwardprose](https://archiveofourown.org/users/someawkwardprose/pseuds/someawkwardprose) for your help toooo! <3
> 
> Sorry for the wait in the updates! I have not written all the chapters of this fic, but I will be posting them as and when I write them! I appreciate all the comments and reception to the first two updates in this series, and hope you guys like this one!

The phone rang in the corner of the room, interrupting Ianto and making him jump. He sat up straight in his bed, looking at the screen which had lit up.

Jack.

Ianto rolled his eyes and slumped back against his mattress, letting the phone ring itself out. Damn Jack for interrupting his… well, not  _ sleep  _ per se. It wasn’t like it was at all possible for Ianto to sleep anymore. But he’d found out that if he lay down, eyes closed as naturally as possible, he was able to reach some kind of meditative trance that passed the hours - and, more importantly, allowed him to feel like his body had reset. It wasn’t the bleary, warm feeling of waking up in the morning, but it was a start.

Plus, it wasn’t like he had anything better to do with his time than lying on his bed aimlessly.

It had been a week since Ianto had died, and six days since he’d been sent home, feeling angry at the world, his job, and  _ Jack _ . In his frustration, he’d been through his entire flat, clearing out anything and everything that he no longer needed. All the food and drink, gone; the majority of his toiletries, gone; his bowls, plates and coffee mugs; gone, smashed on the floor in a rage the other night.

He’d debated throwing his coffee machine out too but had been thankful he didn’t when Gwen had come over the next night. They’d sat together, put on a movie and passed away a few hours together. Gwen was even kind enough not to mind the coffee in a glass, which was the only thing Ianto could find to serve it in. She hadn’t directly talked about the elephant in the room, but her presence was enough to calm Ianto down slightly, and even with his now limited senses, her hug had still felt as comforting as ever.

Tosh had been round too, claiming she needed his opinion on an algorithm she was designing for the Rift predictor, but hadn’t mentioned the code once, instead staying round long enough to lose track of the evening. Even Owen had made an effort: coming over to do a few blood tests, scans and other experiments that Ianto couldn’t pretend to know the purpose of. It was Owen’s way of showing that he cared, Ianto supposed, and though he could’ve complained and shut the medic out, Ianto had allowed him into the flat to do his job.

The only one who hadn’t been over was Jack.

It was Ianto’s own fault, he supposed, because it had been he who had told Jack to back off and give him time. Their argument had been on his mind ever since it had happened, and Ianto  _ still  _ struggled to make sense of it. To find out that Jack  _ loved  _ him had been enough of a shock, let alone the rest of the revelations and emotions that had come pouring out of his boss. The worst part was, of  _ course,  _ Ianto loved him back. He knew he loved Jack, but he also knew that it wouldn’t make a difference anymore.

Jack had phoned multiple times during the week, but it had taken Ianto a few days to even pick up. Gwen had chided him when she’d come over, telling him that Jack was beyond worried and would rarely leave his desk for anything but Rift calls. Ianto felt vaguely guilty and had answered the next call that had come in.

For some reason, the fact that Ianto had answered the first call made Jack think that he could phone Ianto whenever he wanted to. Ianto had tried to deter him from this by only answering on a few occasions, but Jack did not seem to want to be deterred.

Hence why Ianto’s phone was once more ringing on his bedside table.

After letting it ring out once more, Ianto decided there was no point delaying the call if Jack was insistent on having it.

“Ianto,” Jack said as soon as Ianto had pressed the answer button on his phone.

“Jack,” Ianto responded, trying not to sound too frustrated.

“Did I interrupt anything?”

Ianto sighed. “What do you think?”

Jack paused, and Ianto tried to decide whether or not to tell Jack that he  _ had  _ interrupted his attempt at relaxing or whether it was better to let him stew over his question.

“Look… I’m sorry, I know your situation isn’t exactly ideal right now,” Jack began, and Ianto’s reaction was strong enough to force a snort out of his unbreathing body.

There was an awkward pause as both men decided how to proceed. “No, it’s not exactly the greatest,” Ianto finally said, idly scratching at his bedsheet.

“Right. Well, I’m calling because something’s come up, and we could use you in the Hub to help out,” Jack explained, sounding to Ianto like it was the last thing Jack wanted to be saying.

“Oh,  _ right _ ,” Ianto responded, sarcasm heavy. “That’s weird, cause I was under the impression that I didn’t have any sort of security pass or access to the place.”

“Ianto,” Jack sighed. “Can we not argue again? I’m giving you an excuse here, so take it or leave it.”

“I’m worthy of an excuse, am I? Well, thank you  _ so  _ much for caring.”

There was another pause.

“That’s not fair,” Jack said, and suddenly, Ianto could hear all the hundreds of years of life Jack had lived reflected back at him. “Ianto, you  _ know  _ that’s not fair. Every decision I’ve had to make about this situation has been based  _ entirely  _ off how much I care for you.”

“So you keep saying,” Ianto said, but the anger and heat from his previous response was dimmed.

“I don’t want to argue,” Jack repeated.

“Neither do I,” Ianto admitted. “I didn’t want any of this to happen, Jack.”

“I know,” Jack answered, his voice cracking and making Ianto wish he could reach through the phone and pull Jack into a hug. “Do you think I did?”

Ianto let out a sigh in response, not bothering to wonder why he was able to sigh and yet not breathe. “So, what’s the great excuse for needing me in, then?”

“It’ll be easier to explain once you get here.”

“Good tactic,” Ianto replied. “Get me curious enough that I won’t want to stay at home.”

“Is it working?”

Ianto smiled and was grateful Jack didn’t see his grin. “I’ll be there in half an hour or so.”

“Great!” Jack said, at least his grin perfectly evident by his excited tone. “I’m looking forward to seeing you again.”

“Right. Well, I’ll be getting ready then.”

“Okay,” Jack replied, the sounds of paper turning being heard from through the phone. “I’ll see you soon. I love you.”

“I -” Ianto said, his eyes widening, before pressing the end call button as quickly as possible.

He sat frozen for a second, still totally unused to Jack’s sudden casual openness regarding his emotions. He supposed watching the guy you were dating die twice would’ve been emotionally traumatising enough to put a few things in perspective, after all. 

Ianto shrugged himself out of his thoughts, stood up and made his way over to his wardrobe to get ready. 

It was time to return to Torchwood Three.

When he arrived at the tourist office, having taken his car out for the first time in a week, Ianto brushed his suit off and tried to quell the nerves which were rising in him. Not much could really have changed in one week, and his friends had been keeping him updated with what was going on, after all. But being back here, staring at the entrance to the place he once called work - and might never be able to properly call work again - Ianto felt suddenly like coming back might not have been the best decision.

“Ianto!” a muffled voice called, interrupting his thoughts before they’d even had time to set in his mind. Ianto took a step back and grinned as Gwen opened the door outward, immediately pulling Ianto into one of her hugs. He tried not to focus on the fact that he could no longer smell her perfume, the floral scent usually something that would comfort him no matter what problem he was facing. He’d have to make do with the feel of her arms around him, even though that too was dulled.

“I’m so excited you’re back,” Gwen rambled, pulling him forwards through the door as she raced to press the button on the desk. “It’s been  _ dreadful  _ without you here, I swear. Jack’s been telling me that I’ve got to do this thing, right - he calls it ‘working’? I’ve never heard of it - at least, not in the way…”

Ianto tuned Gwen’s words out, chuckling along with her. He knew what she was doing. She was trying her best to distract him, to take his mind off the worries and nerves he had, and Ianto was immensely grateful.

“- and Tosh said she wasn’t sure she’d ever  _ seen  _ something as green as Owen’s toe before! Honestly, Ianto, there’s  _ so  _ much I have to fill you in on.”

Ianto gave her a carefully practiced warm smile and squeezed her hand once before dropping it. They stood in front of the klaxon door that led straight into their base, where Jack, Tosh and Owen would no doubt be awaiting his return. 

“Ianto,” Gwen suddenly said, turning to face him and putting an arm on his shoulder.

“Gwen?”

“I know I’ve already said this, but..” she said, letting out a sigh. “If you need anything at all, no matter how big, how small. We’re all here for you.”

Ianto took in her genuine expression, wide eyes boring into him. “Thank you, Gwen.”

“No,” she continued, flashing a quick smile. “I mean it. I know what you’re like, Mister. I bet you think the whole world’s out to get you or that the only thing people are gonna do is pity you. But that’s not true. We don’t know what happened or how long this is going to last, but I’ve…” Gwen looked at him, a warm sappy smile putting him at ease. “I’ve missed you, Goddamn it. I don’t like seeing you like this, hurting and withdrawn.”

“Gwen…” Ianto murmured.

Gwen gave him another crooked smile and pretended to run her hands through her hair, though Ianto saw the quick swipe of her sleeve against her eyes. He couldn’t help but bring her into a hug, not sure what else to do.

“I’ll always be your friend, and I’m always gonna be here for you. No matter what else, that’s never gonna change,” she said against his shoulder. “Now, let’s get you in to face the others.”

Ianto pulled away and turned to the door, brushing his suit down. The door opened in front of him, the loud klaxon noise sounding more violent than ever. As he stared into the Hub, he wasn’t sure what he had been expecting. Perhaps a bit of clutter around the place, desks overflowing with paperwork, perhaps - but the area looked… spotless.

“Tidy,” he said, frowning.

“Oh, Jack’s been  _ cleaning _ ,” Gwen explained, walking forwards. “We tried to get him to put on a maid’s outfit, but he wasn’t having any of it, for once.”

Ianto tried to connect the words “Jack” and “cleaning” in his mind, but all he could think now of was Jack wearing a black dress and apron, thanks to Gwen’s comment. He shook his head, and fell into step behind Gwen.

“Ianto’s back!” she loudly called, moving towards the meeting room.

There was a noise of quick movement, and suddenly, Owen’s head popped out from the autopsy bay.

“Ianto? Bloody excellent,” he said, walking towards them with a genuine smile on his face. “Don’t let this inflate your ego, but I’m ruddy glad you’re back.”

With a clap on Ianto’s shoulder, Owen passed him, and Gwen and opened the door to the meeting room. Ianto stared on in shock, wondering  _ why on earth  _ Owen was being even vaguely nice to him.

“Ianto!” came another voice, and Ianto turned to see Tosh. “Oh, it’s  _ so  _ great to see you back. Things here have been… well, I’m just happy you’re back.”

“Me too, Tosh,” Ianto muttered, raising an eyebrow at Gwen over Tosh’s shoulder as she hugged him.

“Come on. Meeting room, we’ve got a lot to catch you up on,” Gwen said, pulling Tosh away with her. “Jack! Meeting!”

Before he could follow the girls in, Ianto saw the door to Jack’s office open, and his boss stepped out.

For a moment as they locked eyes together, neither of them moved. It was quiet enough in the Hub to make out each individual drip of water coming from the water tower. Finally, Jack broke their standoff and quickly began to walk towards Ianto, stopping a metre or so away from him. He put his arms behind his back and rocked slightly on the balls of his feet.

“Ianto.”

Ianto let his eyes move across Jack, taking in his usual outfit (blue shirt, red suspenders above his grey trousers, and dark, mud-caked boots on his feet). His grin seemed timid and unsure, eyes tired yet vaguely pleased.

“Jac.,” Ianto nodded, resisting the urge to fidget under the intensity of Jack’s gaze. “Gwen said you’ve… cleaned?”

Jack let out a quick laugh, his head turning down to the ground for a moment before he looked back up. He reached a hand out, quickly squeezing Ianto’s shoulder before he pulled back, as if he was scared to touch Ianto.

“I’m really glad to see you,” he said, sounding as honest as Ianto had ever heard him.

Before Ianto could do something stupid, like drag Jack back into his office to snog him senseless, Jack was moving past him, brushing against his shoulder as he walked into the meeting room.

It felt strange, sitting down at the table and staring at his friends, mood more sombre than it needed to be. For some reason, Owen, Gwen and Tosh were glancing at Jack as if they were wary of him. Ianto was used to bringing in the coffee and slipping unnoticed into his chair, but someone had already brought four coffees to the table (a store brand from one of the shops on the Plass), and Ianto was struggling to know what to do with the brief glances that everybody kept shooting his way.

“Right,” Jack finally said, breaking the tension. “We’ve got a lot to discuss. Obviously we can all see that Ianto is back, so Gwen - if you wouldn’t mind explaining to the others what your case involves?”

Gwen gave a tight-lipped smile and stood up. She moved to the front of the room, taking a thin folder with her.

“Five days ago, Andy contacted me with a missing persons list he’s been collating and thought it was something best passed on to us.”

“Here we go again,” Owen muttered, having rolled his eyes at the mention of Andy.

Gwen glared at Owen, but continued. “I tried to tell him that it wasn’t exactly our department, but he insisted that I look into the matter. There have been six young children reported missing, different ethnicities, all between the ages of two and nine.”

“Then what’s linked them together?” Jack asked, rubbing absentmindedly at his chin.

“There was one thing that Andy noticed: they all had legally deceased, absent, or convicted abusive parents. In short, they had no parents taking care of them.”

“Orphans, then.” Jack offered, and Gwen nodded.

“Or thereabouts. So I looked into each individual case, and it turns out that the kids all had one other thing in common.”

At this, Gwen fiddled with something on the projector, screening up an image of a large bricked estate. There was a sign at the front, reading “St David’s Orphanage,” and Ianto felt a chill go down his spine.

“Christ,” Ianto heard Owen murmur.

“A few days prior to them being reported missing, each child was supposedly adopted or moved to a foster home, having previously lived at St David’s. When I tried to research into their new families, I didn’t get far at all. There seemed to be no record on their files, nor on the St David’s files, that Tosh or I could find regarding their new homes.”

“And why didn’t the police make this discovery?” Ianto asked.

Gwen shrugged. “They missed it? Perhaps Andy was the first to put the cases together, and they’ve just not got round to investigating properly yet. Either way, I decided it seemed like there was something suspicious going on.”

With another click, the image on the screen changed, this time to show a fluctuating line graph. Ianto recognised it as Rift activity.

“I decided to investigate any Rift activity at the time, to see if any of my suspicions were correct. And this is what I found,” Gwen said, turning to point at an unnaturally large peak.

“A peak for every missing child?”

Gwen nodded. “Each peak came in the late evening of the day they were adopted from the orphanage. Always between the hours of ten and eleven.”

“So what did you do about it? I’m presuming this has something to do with yesterday morning, and where you went?” Jack asked.

“I decided to pay the orphanage a visit.”

“Did you find anything out?”

Gwen grimaced. “No. Absolutely nothing. The two women who ran the place refused to tell me anything or answer any question I had. But to be fair, as an owner of an orphanage, your first duty should be to the kids there, and I should’ve considered the safeguarding issues before I barged in.”

Jack nodded in thought. “Perhaps. You should’ve brought it to our attention before going off on your own, but what’s done is done. What’s the plan now?”

Gwen looked at the group, her eyes moving between them until she landed on Ianto, flickering slowly between him and Jack.

“Well. We still need a way into the orphanage, and I don’t think they’d take very well to me turning up again,” she explained.

“What are you thinking?” Tosh asked.

Gwen hesitated and then opened her mouth. “The easiest way to gain access to an orphanage is simple. A couple who wanted to adopt would have no problem. So I think two of us should go undercover.”

Ianto could easily feel Tosh and Owen’s eyes turning to look at him and Jack.

“Oh,” Jack said, folding his arms across his chest. “Well, I suppose I could go check it out with someone.”

“I can’t go, for obvious reasons,” Gwen continued. “Tosh is working on her Rift predictor algorithm, and I wouldn’t want to drag her away from that. And we really need the act to be as believable as possible, so I didn’t think Owen would be the best person to pretend to be married to you, Jack.”

Ianto felt something churn inside his stomach. He resolutely  _ refused  _ to look at Jack. “Right. Okay. And here I was, thinking I was too fragile to even work a coffee machine.”

His small attempt at sarcastic humour wasn’t appreciated by anybody else.

“Gwen…” Jack started, his tone warning.

“Look, I wouldn’t be asking if it wasn’t the last resort!” she responded, shooting Jack a glare. “I knew you would have problems with the plan, but that’s why I wanted Ianto to come in too. So we could get  _ his  _ opinion.”

Ianto raised an eyebrow. “Oh, I’m getting one now, am I? An opinion?”

Jack ignored his comment and glared at Gwen again. “I’m sure Tosh could put her algorithm on hold for a few days. Or Owen could actually put some effort in and suck it up, for once.”

It was now Owen’s turn to glare. “I know you wouldn’t know, as all you’ve done all week is brood in your office, but Tosh has just got to a critical point in her code. I’m pretty sure the death threats I’ve been given about accidentally knocking the computer would be extended to you, if you tried to take her with you.”

Ianto didn’t miss the smile Tosh sent Owen’s way.

“And I’m sorry, Jack, but nobody’s gonna look at you and me and believe we’re a couple. We’re like oil and water. You need someone who won’t throw up when they kiss you.”

“And, lucky for me, I’m no longer even physically able to vomit,” Ianto cut in. “You know. Being dead and all.”

“You’re not  _ dead, _ ” Jack said, something like resignation setting into his eyes.

There was a pause, and Gwen turned her calm eyes back to Ianto. “Look, Ianto. I called you in today because I thought you deserve to have a say in all this. I’m sure we  _ could  _ manage without you, but nobody here really wants that. It’s unfair on you to make you stay at home doing nothing, all day, every day.”

“So you’ve taken it upon yourself to act as our recruitment officer then, Gwen?” Jack cut in, and Gwen whirled around suddenly to glare at her boss.

“Damn it, Jack. Ianto is  _ one  _ of us, with or without a bloody security pass! He’s a member of Torchwood Three, dead or alive, whether  _ you  _ want that or not!”

“He’s also sitting right here,” Ianto said, and the others froze to look at him. “Thank you, Gwen.”

“It’s up to you, Ianto,” Tosh said, after a few moments of quiet.

Ianto knew deep down that the idea of pretending to be  _ married  _ to Jack - pretending to be domestic enough that they were trying to start a  _ family  _ together - absolutely terrified him. There was no way that this was going to end well. And yet, what better option did he have? He had a feeling that if he said no now, it would be a long time before something like this came up again, and Jack would probably take it as a sign that he wanted to stay away from Torchwood for good.

“I’ll do it,” he decided, nodding before he could change his mind.

“Ianto-” Jack said, but Owen cut in.

“And if Jack has a problem with that, then I’ll go with Ianto instead.”

Ianto turned to Owen, seeing some kind of determination on his face. “So you wouldn’t throw up if you had to kiss me, Owen?”

“Fuck off. I just think we’d make a more convincing couple than Jack and I would,” Owen said, and Ianto smirked at him.

“Enough,” Jack cut in, his face carefully neutral. “If you’re sure this is what you want, then I’d rather you and me go, Ianto. Gwen’s right; it  _ does  _ make the most sense for you and I to go, even with your - well, your current condition.”

Ianto nodded tersely, wondering if he had made the right decision or not. “Right. Okay.”

There was an awkward pause, before Gwen broke the silence. “Right. That’s sorted, then! I’ll fill you in on a few of the finer details, and then we can start getting your backstories sorted.”


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jack and Ianto meet with Meagan, a woman who works at St David's. Ianto isn't sure how he feels about their act vs the reality he faces now that he's no longer living.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here's chapter two! Not sure if there'll be a post next week due to exams but if you're lucky, the writing vibes might hit! Thanks for the comments on the last chapter :)

“Wait, hang on - did we say we were looking for a boy or a girl?”

Ianto resisted the urge to roll his eyes at yet another question from Jack and tried to steel himself for how awkward this meeting was going to be.

Yesterday, after deciding on their plan, Gwen had helped Ianto and Jack forge their own fake identities, down to every last detail. And Ianto had _hated_ it.

(“Why don’t we just go as Ifan and Ken again?” Jack had asked, standing close but not too near to where Ianto was. “It would make sense. We have the fake documents from Serenity Plaza already made.”

“No,” Ianto had responded, shaking his head quickly. “No. I’m not - it’s different, this time. I can’t pretend to be Ifan any longer. He feels… too far away.”

Jack had given him a pained, longing look that Ianto had shied away from, and that was the end of that.)

“We decided we didn’t mind. We’re going to go in with our eyes open and see what feels right,” Ianto explained.

Jack nodded and looked up at the sign above the doorway to the building they were waiting outside. _The Coffee Beans,_ it read, and Ianto wasn’t surprised to see Jack next check his watch for the time.

“And we’ve been married for two years, yes?” Jack said, looking thoughtful. “Are you sure that’s what we agreed? It’s not very long, seeing as we’re looking for kids.”

“Two years, Jack, and we’re _technically_ not married. We got a civil partnership in January 2005, a couple of months after they were legalised,” Ianto reminded him, trying not to wince at the reality of how discriminated same-sex marriages still were. Despite having known he was attracted to men for a long while, Ianto hadn’t ever had a serious enough relationship with a man to even have considered marriage before - and _certainly_ not marriage with Jack. Civil partnerships were a step forwards, of course, but Ianto had still felt something uncomfortable sitting in his stomach when they were putting their fake identities together as he realised the reality and challenges their characters would’ve had to face.

Jack let out a loud sigh. “This planet is still so _backwards_ ,” he grumbled. “And anyway, how come you’re able to remember all these details so easily?”

Ianto tapped his head twice. “Eidetic memory, remember?”

Jack twisted his head suddenly to look at Ianto. “No? You’ve never told me that.”

Ianto made a noncommittal noise and continued scanning the crowds of people. “Didn’t I? Must’ve forgotten to mention it.”

They stood silently for a few minutes, air awkward around them. Ianto kept his nerves in check, praying that this experience wouldn’t be completely and utterly humiliating for him.

“What was the woman’s name again, who we’re meeting?” Jack suddenly asked, and Ianto turned to glare at him.

Before he could answer, a tinkling laugh sounded from next to them, and they both turned their heads to look at a short, widely grinning woman. Her smile lit up her face, immediately inducing a smile on both Jack and Ianto’s faces as they took in her appearance. As in the photo Tosh had found on the St David’s website, the woman looked to be in her mid forties, laugh lines just beginning to show over her round face. Her eyes were dark yet wide and inviting, darker hair flying loose in curled rings that framed her face. She had a blue jacket over her pink shirt and a matching skirt too.

“Nervous, much?” she asked, her voice bubbly and warm as she looked between the two men. “Meagan Robson, if you needed reminding. I presume I’m talking to Jack and Ianto Davies?”

Still wondering if the decision to keep their first names was a good idea, Ianto stuck out his hand and shook Meagan’s, making eye contact. “Ianto Davies - it’s a pleasure to meet you.”

When Ianto let go, Jack did the same. “Jack Davies. You don’t know how excited we are to finally have set this meeting up!”

He put on one of his charming grins, dropping Meagan’s hand and opting to take Ianto’s instead. Her eyes quickly flashed down to look at the intertwined hands, smiling back up at them.

“Shall we?” she asked, cocking her head towards the door. With his spare arm, Ianto reached across and opened the door, standing back to politely allow Meagan in first.

“How do you take your coffee?” Ianto asked as soon as they had sat down by a table. Meagan had chosen one in the corner, with a chair for her to sit at and opposite, a wider sofa that Jack and Ianto had taken.

“Milk, no sugar, dear,” she told him, and Ianto nodded. He walked towards the counter, glad to see that the cafe was almost empty at eleven in the morning. Placing their order, knowing Jack’s preference off by heart, he tipped the barista and walked back, having been told their coffees would be brought to them when they were done.

As he sat back down, he heard Meagan laugh at something and saw that Jack was wearing a pleased grin.

“So, Jack tells me you’re quite the coffee fiend, Ianto?” Meagan asked, a twinkle in her eye. Ianto glanced at Jack and saw his far-too-innocent expression.

“What’s he been telling you?” He glared, remembering to add an amused smile onto his face to perfect his act.

“All good things, I promise,” Meagan said unconvincingly. “So, tell me about yourselves! Jobs, marriage, pets?”

Ianto looked at Jack, who inched his head a fraction, which Ianto took to mean he should speak first. “Well,” he began. “Jobs, I suppose. I teach English and history to secondary school students at a school on the outskirts of the city.”

“A teacher?” Meagan prompted, almost as if she hadn’t read their application, which had already listed this information. “Do you enjoy it?”

“Love it,” Ianto lied but smiled. “I adore working with children and always knew I wanted to teach. As I got older, I didn’t think there’d be much chance of having my own kids,” he said, glancing quickly at Jack. “So teaching was always going to be the next best thing.”

Meagan gave him an understanding smile, reaching over to squeeze his hand. “But now you’re here,” she reassured him.

“Now I am, indeed,” he replied, her own bubble of happiness once again feeling quite infectious.

“And you, Jack? Your file said you were retired?”

“A retired American pilot,” he explained, and Meagan eyed up his coat. “Only recently, though. Being away for so long at a time was… difficult, especially after we got married. And while I love my job, staying at home to look after a kid or two would be worth the sacrifice, I’m sure.”

“If you’re thinking that you’re gonna have more time on your hands, I’d have to tell you otherwise,” Meagan joked, laughing along with the two men. “A pilot and a school teacher. What brought you together?”

Jack turned to look at Ianto, fixing him a soft smile. “Well, I was over in Wales for the job, having a weekend spare before I was to fly back home. It all felt very romantic, like a scene from a film set during World War Two, or something.”

He trailed off into a dramatically wistful look, and Ianto would’ve rolled his eyes at him if he hadn’t felt Meagan’s gaze set on the two of them.

“My squad and I were down at the local pub, enjoying a rare day off, and there he was,” Jack continued, turning to stare at Ianto. “I think ‘love at first sight’ would be a bit dramatic, but I abandoned my squad on the spot and spent the last few days I had off with him.”

Ianto knew Jack was good at telling stories but was still impressed with the embellishment Jack was adding to their simple ‘met when Jack was in the country, exchanged details and kept close contact’ story they had agreed on.

“We kept in contact after I moved back to the States, but after a few months, we both realised that we meant a lot more to the other than we’d originally thought. I applied for a move to the Welsh branch, and we pretty much moved in with each other there and then.”

Meagan’s grin was brilliant. “When did you decide to marry?”

“Well, we pretty much always knew it was something we wanted,” Ianto said, taking over. “We just had to wait to be legally allowed and arranged it as quickly as possible after that.”

“Small wedding? Or a big party?”

Ianto laughed. “No, just a small thing. Some family, my best man, and that was that.”

“Are you close with your family?”

Jack and Ianto both paused. “I don’t have much family,” Jack admitted, eyes suddenly far away. “I lost them all a long time ago.”

Meagan turned her sympathetic eyes towards him. “I’m sorry.”

“My mum died quite recently,” Ianto said, sharing his side of the story. “Dad a while back. But I have a sister - she’s married, and has just had her second child the other month.”

“I’m sorry for your losses,” Meagan said, sounding very sincere. Ianto felt uncomfortable thinking about his family. He’d avoided Rhiannon when she had called him the other day, instead listening to her voice message where she’d lamented how little of him she got to see these days. Ianto didn’t even want to begin thinking about what to tell her regarding his undead state.

“But it’s nice to have a sister, especially one who has kids already,” Meagan cut in, interrupting Ianto’s slowly spiralling thoughts. He caught himself and turned back to smile at her. “She can help you a lot with any questions or worries you might have. Plus, it would be nice for your child to grow up with cousins to get to know, too.”

Ianto’s collar suddenly felt tight as his brain latched onto the image of him and Jack standing on either side of a little boy, each holding onto a hand of his. His sister was there with Johnny and her kids, and she was smiling at him, the sight of him with his husband Jack not at all a bother to her. Jack would pull their child away, move to join Mica and David, and they’d jump on him and hug their uncle.

But that was all a messed up, impossible fantasy now. Even if he wasn’t technically dead, and could actually become a father, let alone be dating - no, _married_ to Jack, there was no way he’d even want that kind of a life. He’d never really wanted kids - not since the day Lisa died and took with her all his hopes and dreams of a domestic, _normal_ lifetime. Him and Jack may have previously been dating, and sure, they’d both admitted to loving the other, but Ianto would _laugh_ if you suggested as wild a notion as _marriage_ to them.

There was suddenly a hand pressing over his own, and Ianto turned his head to see Jack. Jack, who had questioning, worried eyes, and was looking at Ianto with the sort of care that a real husband might have for him.

Ianto pulled his hand away.

“It’s okay to be nervous or second guessing yourself,” Meagan spoke, breaking the silence that had fallen over the table. “This is where it all starts to suddenly get real. It’s okay if you need time to come to terms with everything.”

Ianto shook his head, thinking about the list of children who had all gone missing. “No. It’s okay, I just got caught up in my memories. I’m _really_ excited for this.”

His grin must have been convincing enough, because Meagan beamed back at him once more and launched into another set of questions.

Almost an hour later, the trio stood outside the coffee shop, coats back on and coffees all drunk.

“So,” Ianto said, a little tired from the hour of socialisation. “It was lovely to meet you. I hope we hear back from you soon.”

“Oh, you will!” Meagan promised, putting her arms around Ianto in a quick hug. Ianto stood frozen even after she pulled back, turning to Jack instead, who laughed along and responded to the hug with a squeeze of his own.

“Great to talk,” Jack grinned, reaching down to link hands with Ianto.

“There was one last thing I wanted to ask you about,” Meagan started to say, her voice growing quieter.

Ianto frowned for a moment before he realised what she was likely to ask them. Gwen had thought it a good idea to put a little red herring into their records, something that would make their case seem imperfect and unsuspicious.

“It says here that you’ve already been rejected from one other adoption agency.”

“Ah, yes,” Jack said, his voice sounding strained. Ianto was once again impressed with his remorseful expression, having severely misjudged just how well his boss could act. “That. It’s… well, rather personal.”

“I promise it’s nothing bad, at least on our behalf,” Ianto cut in, feeling Jack’s hand squeeze tighter around his own. “It’s just… the other adoption centre we went to weren’t quite as… let’s say, _open minded_ as you seem to be.”

“Oh,” Meagan said, realisation dawning on her face.

“Yeah. We should’ve brought it up earlier, I’m sorry, but it was just quite a painful experience, and we don’t like to think about it too much,” Jack continued to explain.

“Oh, not all, I understand exactly why you didn’t bring it up,” she said, reaching a hand to squeeze Jack’s shoulder. “Rest assured, St David’s doesn’t discriminate based on anything like the gender, or sexuality of a couple. We judge a family based on how happy they are, and I have it on good authority that you’ve definitely made a good impression today”

Ianto smiled thankfully at her, catching Jack’s eye. Jack continued to speak. “Wonderful. I take it you still have my number?”

“Of course,” Meagan nodded. “And your email too. We’ll get back to you within a few days, though I can’t see it taking too long to decide on you two.”

“In that case, I hope to see you soon,” Ianto finished, allowing Jack to put an arm around his waist.

With a wink, Meagan started to walk off, turning around to give them a quick wave before she turned the corner and headed into the car park. Jack immediately let out a relieved sigh, and his hand dropped down from Ianto’s back as if burnt. Ianto tried to pretend he didn’t miss it’s warmth.

“Well, I think we did okay there,” he said nervously, running a hand through his hair.

“Mhm,” Ianto agreed, letting his aching cheeks relax as he finally stopped smiling. “I need a walk.”

“Okay, do you want me to come with you?” Jack asked.

Ianto shook his head quickly. “No. I want to be alone, Jack.”

“Alright,” Jack said, still with the quiet, almost patronising tone. “Will you be coming back to the Hub afterwards?”

Ianto would’ve snorted if he could. “To do what, exactly?” 

Jack bristled and glanced at him. “I don’t know, plan the next course of action for this case?” he suggested not unkindly. “Something that isn’t just sitting at home alone, feeling sorry for yourself?”

“Sorry for myself?” Ianto spluttered, voice rising. “I wasn’t the one who banned me from doing my job and made it quite clear that me being on this case was very much a last resort!”

Jack sighed and rolled his eyes, which did nothing to quell Ianto’s new-found temper. “Ianto, when are you going to understand that I’m doing this for your own good?”

“You’re giving me mixed messages, Jack! On the same day that you fire me and order me home, you tell me that you love me and even suggest that we can somehow still try to be together.”

Jack paused, and gave Ianto a lengthy, longing look. “Look, maybe I’m handling this entire situation wrong. But I’ve never had to deal with anything like this before. Just… just tell me what I’m doing wrong, Ianto, because I can’t learn if you keep everything internalized like this. Tell me what you want me to do, and I’ll do it.”

Ianto stood still for a minute, trying to make sense of his muddled thoughts. What _did_ he want Jack to do?

“I want you to back off,” he finally decided, not looking into Jack’s eyes where he’d no doubt find pain. “We’ve just spent an hour pretending to be married and looking for kids together, when in reality we can’t stand next to each other for five minutes before breaking into argument.”

“Okay. Alright,” Jack said, sounding utterly resigned. “I’ll back off, I promise.”

“Good. Thank you.”

“But Ianto?” Jack quickly added, reaching out as if to hold Ianto, before he decided better of it and dropped his arm. “Even though you’re mad at me right now, I can’t help but love you. You’re never gonna accept it unless you let yourself believe that you’re worthy of love. I _love_ you, Ianto.”

Ianto flicked his eyes up to Jack’s, somehow unable to believe the nerve of his boss. The man who’d just promised to do whatever Ianto wanted, agreed to back off, and then told him yet again that he _loved him._

“Fuck off,” Ianto shot back, feeling his anger boil. “I’m gonna walk home now, and give myself a break from you and your bloody mixed messages.”

“They’re not mixed messages-” Jack tried to insist, but Ianto cut him off.

“They are when you just told me you’d back off, but two seconds later, you’re proclaiming your love for me!” he shouted, shoving his hands even deeper into his coat pockets.

There was a long pause.

“I’m sorry,” Jack finally said, and Ianto could once again see the depths of emotion that the man in front of him was struggling to cope with. 

“I know. Me too,” Ianto said, shaking his head slightly. “I’m going home now. I’m sure you’ve got some Weevils to catch or reports to write.”

“Sure,” Jack agreed softly. “Stay safe, Ianto, and let me know when you get back.”

Ianto nodded once, and turned on his heels, eager for the fresh air and a chance to get his thoughts sorted in his head.

**Author's Note:**

> Find me on Tumblr @thirteeninafez  
> Comments and Kudos very appreciated!! <3


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